Let us, as parents, speak bravery, kindness and hope to our children.
Let us, as parents, speak bravery, kindness and hope to our children.

Mind the way you speak to your child as it can affect their development

By Tamara Mafilika Time of article published Sep 6, 2021

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An occasional yelling won’t harm your child, but consistent yelling could do more harm than good.

When we use yelling and strict punishments, bad behaviour increases rather than decreases. A study from the London School of Economics found that strict and inconsistent punishment leads to antisocial behaviour. Another study found that children who were frequently yelled at developed lower self-esteem and higher aggressiveness and depression.

Littlemonster.com shared common sentences that could emotionally hurt your child:

  • I am going to call the cops on you.
  • Why are you not like others?
  • Look at how good your sister does it.
  • If you do this, mummy won’t love you.
  • Stop crying right now.

What adverse effects could they have on your child:

  • He/she will become fearful of everything.
  • They will lack confidence and decision making skills.
  • They will less likely to be able to use logical thinking
  • They will feel unsafe and they will not believe in themselves.
  • They will develop emotional scars from being mocked and teased.
  • They become aggressive and antisocial
  • They will lack -self-respect
  • They will be less likely to deal with disappointments in the future.

Using proper communication is the key:

  • Use positive communication strategies and talk to them as parents who love and mean well; and
  • Avoid using emotion. Instead, use logical reasoning to teach them so that they can grow up to be wonderful adults with good physical and emotional health.

Our children are watching and learning. Anger is normal, but how do you express it? Can we stop yelling at our children before they go to sleep and expect them to sleep well? Also, can we stop yelling at them in the morning right after they wake up, before school and expect them to have a good day? We need to set the tone for our children. Let us be their inner voice and not their inner critic. But most of all, LISTEN to your children.

Robert Fulghum once said - “Don't worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.”

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